When I Feel Small

There is a moment in my life when I feel truly small. 

It happens a lot 

and 

isn't a bad thing. 

I actually really like it. 

It is humbling. 

Whenever I pray to my Father God, I get this feeling that I am super small. 

Like I'm in a big, bright, white room with huge ceilings.

And there I am, along a wall or in a corner, surrounded by hugeness. 

With a feeling of being small.

I can feel God's power and how mighty He is.

I feel the sense of being surrounded by Him. 

I know that He is here with me! 

I got that feeling tonight as I was praying with fellow staff members. 

I was asked to open us up in prayer 

and 

I gladly did. 

I tend to not pray out loud unless asked 

or 

if I really feel the Holy Spirit leading me. 

Sometimes I wish that I was the first to volunteer, but being who I am, 

I hesitate and let someone else do it. 

Because the devil tells me that prayer isn't good enough 

or 

that I am going to sound stupid

and

stumble over words

or

that I'm not going to make sense.

Well, you know what?

God hears my prayers. 

He understands them. 

He knows my heart.

He knows how to answer prayers. 

Tonight however, I prayed to my Father as I joined hands with not just staff members, but sisters in Christ. 

I once heard one of my youth pastors or someone say that if we pass up the opportunity to speak out loud when we feel led, when we feel God telling us to speak, that we may not be letting God use us as He could. He might want us to speak or say something that He wants someone else to hear, but if we are silent, they won't hear it. 

It is the same with the Gospel. 

We can live it out all day and say that we believe it, but

if we don't actually speak the Gospel 

then how will people hear it? 

How will they come to know?

I pray that my boldness of the Gospel will just spill out.

That everything I do or say

and 

everywhere I go 

will just be a picture of the Gospel. 

There is nothing else that I should live for as a believer in Christ. 

I pray that I will speak out when I feel the Holy Spirit leading me.

That I will not be hindrance to the Gospel of Christ. 

That I will be vulnerable 

and 

allow God to use me as He wishes. 

I pray, Father, that You will use me as You see fit. 

Surround me with Your mightiness. 

Help me to feel small.