Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Two years ago I was doing an internship in Mobile, Alabama.

Last summer, I was a summer missionary with NAMB in New Orleans, Louisiana. 

This summer?

Resting, relaxing, and spending time with friends. 

Oh, and there is work. 

This summer I am graduated, done with classes, and not out in the mission field. 

(Well, besides Tuscaloosa being my summer mission field, I mean me not out in another state or city.) 

The only things I have done have been spending time with friends, going to the lake, sleeping, reading, watching Netflix, sleeping, working out (another post for another time), and working 3 hours a day at my part-time job. 

Seeing as I'm a big advocate for using my summers for the Lord, it is weird not being anywhere doing that. 

However, I really feel like this moratorium is going to be good for me. 

When graduation first ended, I really didn't know what I was going to do with myself. I hadn't planned on going anywhere and I didn't feel the Lord calling me to go anywhere. I just took it a day at a time. 

Then, a few days after graduation, I just became tired. All of a sudden it seemed like the past five years caught up with me and I just became overwhelmed with this feeling of tiredness, both physically and spiritually. 

A lot has happened to me during my five years in college. 

New friends. Classes. Tests and Finals. Mission Trips. New Church. Bible Study. Work. No Work. Changing Majors. Summer Internships. Weddings. Birthdays. Car Wreck. Fights. Lost Friendships. Restored Friendships. Late Nights. Tornado. Summer Missionary Job. Road Trips. 

More School. More Work. 

Graduation. 

So when friends and family asked me what I was going to do now that I was graduated and I answered with "sleep", I really was not kidding. 

The weight of five years was lifted and I just collapsed. 

I loved college. Absolutely LOVED it. These past five years were definitely the best years I have had so far and contain memories that I will always remember and treasure! 

I want this summer to be a continuation of that and I want to keep adding to that memory box, but I also want this summer to be about the Lord restoring me. I want to rest in the Lord and seek Him daily as He leads me on the next step in my journey. I learned so much in college and now I want to reflect on the things I learned and apply them more than ever. Now is the time that I need this wisdom the most! Life is going to change so very drastically in the "real" world and coming years. 

It's both thrilling and scary at the same time. For as much as I want to know the future and what is going to happen, I know there is no way for me to know. All I can do is wait and trust in the Lord as He reveals His plan to me. As hard as it is some days, I am more than willing to just wait right now. 

There are days when I terribly miss NOLA and Mobile and the people and kids that I met in those places, but I very thankful for the time that I had with them and the things that the Lord showed and taught me there.  Those places ministered and blessed me in more ways than I could have ever done for them. 

I am very thankful to the Lord for that. That He saw it as good to have me there. 

I am also thankful for this "free" time that I have. Knowing that the Lord has planned to keep me here in Tuscaloosa this summer is exciting in its own way. I am thankful for the next two months that I get to be with my church family here, because I know that I am not done learning from them.  I feel the Lord has something good planned. I feel He knows that I need these next two months to prepare for the months that come after. 

Because starting August, the "free" time is over. 

A new journey is starting. 

A journey that definitely takes me far from Alabama, farther than I have been before.

(Still in the United States though.) 

Stay tuned, because I'm excited to see what the Lord is going to do

and I can't wait to share with you guys. 

:-) 

Hey everyone! 

I just wanted to send out a quick message about things around here in Tuscaloosa. I didn't get to check to see if there were a lot of posts like this. But, the city of Tuscaloosa and many, many other cities in the state of Alabama and beyond have been devastated! We need your prayers more than anything! 

I was in my dorm on the first floor when the tornado went through. It bypassed the University completely! Definitely amazing! It was supposed to come right for us. We lost power and internet and had no connection with anyone except what we could post on Twitter and Facebook. Me and some of my friends spent the night in the dorm. We still don't have power there, and they are saying maybe Monday, but I feel it might be later. The damage to the town and around the counties is incredibly devastating! My friends and I came to a friend's apartment where we are staying now. We didn't know the extent of the damage or know how big the tornado was until this morning. It has all been very surreal and this has been one of the longest days of my life. And I only lost power. There have been many reports going around and it is sad and hearbreaking to see the city now. We all just can't believe that it happened here. 

Please pray for all of those who have lost loved ones and those that are still missing. Tomorrow will be a new day, but it is going to carry a lot with it. 

I'm giving out my info for any reason.  

Twitter: jesselyse88

e-mail: jeussery@crimson.ua.edu

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers. I am praying for any of you that have also been affected by this storm and may have lost someone or anything. I am at a loss of words. 

Trust & Worry

I am a big fan of writing notes in my Bible, like notes from sermons, speakers, conferences.
I also like to underline, circle, and highlight.

I have some old Bibles I used to use that are very colorful.

The Bible is God's loveletter to us.

It holds words of encouragement and solutions to problems.

It comforts, teaches, rebukes, and guides us.

I don't understand much of it, but it is one of my connections to a Loving God

who wants me to know Him more.

The other night,  I was looking through a Bible that I used to use.

I was looking at the different things I had written in the margins and what I had underlined,

when I came across something that I truly needed to see and be reminded of.

Trust and worry can't exist together.

I don't know where I heard it or when I wrote it down,

but it was something that I needed to be reminded of again.

If I trust the Lord with all my heart, with everything. There is no need, no room, for worry.

He had everything under His control.

I can't trust or believe that He has it all under control and worry at the same time.

Worry, shows a hole in my trust.

They can't exist together.

This doesn't mean I can't care about issues or think about my future.

But, my trust is completely in the Lord.

If I want to believe that myself

and live it out

I need to actually start trusting in the God who holds me in His hands.

All worry should disappear when I recognize the fact that

the Creator of the Universe, the Creator of man,

knows my future, He knows my hours, He knows my thoughts, He knows my dreams, He knows my hopes, He knows when I sit or stand, He knows what I really think about someone, He knows what I'm scared of, He knows my secrets, He knows my sins.

He knows.

He understands.

My trust in God should be greater than any worry I have.

My trust should be so great that I can't even see worry.

They can't exist!

Not my will, but God's.

I have a plan for my future and then God has a plan for my future,

they may be the same, they may be different.

But, I can tell you this.

That God's plan,

is

greater than any plan I could ever dream about

for my life.

My trust is greater than my worry.

Because with trust, worry doesn't exist.

My God will never drop me from His hand.

He will never do me wrong.

I don't know how many other people feel this same thing or go through this trouble.
Of learning to trust, but also worrying.

It is okay to have dreams and hopes and to care about things.

But worry is not from God.

Doubt is not from God.

He doesn't want that for you.
God is not a god of worry, but of comfort, joy, safety, and peace.

It's a hard thing trusting completely and letting go of all worry.
But, I would rather have peace than worry.

Here are some verses on Trust --
"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." -- Psalm 20:7

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him..." -- Psalm 37:3-7

"Blessed is the man who makes the Lord His trust..." -- Psalm 40:4

"When I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" -- Psalm 56:3-4

"Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless." -- Psalm 84:10-11

"May Your unfailing love come to me, O Lord, Your salvation according to Your promise; then I will answer the one who taunts me, for I trust in Your word." -- Psalm 119:41-42

"Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever"
-- Psalm 125:1

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil."
-- Proverbs 3:5-7

"The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; He will remove the disgrace of His people from all the earth. The Lord has spoken. In that day they will say, 'Surely this is our God; we trusted in Him, and He saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in Him; let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.'" -- Isaiah 25:8-9

"This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it'...Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blesses are all who wait for him!"
-- Isaiah 30:15,18

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me." -- John 14:1

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." -- 2 Peter 5:7



Patience and Prayer

I had mentioned in my last post about applying with the North American Mission Board (or NAMB) for this upcoming summer.

NAMB has a program that can hook you up with mission opportunites for the summer. There is the option for just doing your mission job or doing missions while working a secular job.

They have so many options and pretty much everywhere!
From Alaska to Maine, Canada to Texas and Hawaii.

I had once started an application with NAMB last year, but didn't finish it. I instead found out about another opportunity that led me to my internship in Mobile, AL.

It seems that whenever one summer ends, I immediately begin to think about what to do the next summer. I don't like taking summer classes because I would rather leave it open for some kind of mission opportunity. I want to use that time to serve others and the Lord.
Not only does it help others, but it helps me. I learn so much about myself and Christ. I learn more and more how to love like Him. To take care of others that so often get overlooked.

See, my dream is to just travel the world, or just this nation, and serve people. I want to help meet other's needs. I want to love them. I want to show them the love of Christ. I want them to know Him and to build their own relationship with Him. And in turn, watch them show His love to others.
I want His Kingdom to be increased. I want it to expand.
 I can't wait for the day when people from every nation, tribe, people, and language gather around the throne of God and praise Him.

And I know that it will.

"After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice:
   'Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb.'"
Revelation 7: 9-10

I started learning and hearing from God more last year that while I am still in school to stay in the country and work domestically. To focus on my Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria. Then, after school look towards the "ends of the earth."

 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”
Acts 1:8

There is a great need for service to people in my town, at school, my state and this nation. Since I am still here in school (for another year), now is the best time to serve them. To go out and reach them and serve them.
Then, hopefully, by God's grace, I can look to the ends of the earth and He will send me somewhere amazing.
I don't think I have talked about it a lot here, but my dream and hope of one day going to Africa has not vanished.
And who knows, within the coming years, the Lord may place another country on my heart.
However, since I am still in school, I have felt the call to serve domestically.

But from past summers and experiences, I didn't know if I wanted to repeat those or let God lead me somewhere else.
Back to the desert of Arizona? Back to Inner City Mobile, AL? Stay in my small town and work and serve my church here? All places that mean a lot ot me.

Working with and serving the TO people in Arizona and the kids and homeless in Mobile, introduced me to a world of poverty that I had never experienced. I knew that it existed, but didn't understand it fully until I lived with them for a week and then for a summer. Even then, living much more richly then they. Sitting around in all my comfort...just wanting to give it away.

Nothing more breaks your heart than when you are playing with a TO child, a precious Indian child in the desert with heat and mountains surrounding you, and they ask you if you can take them back home.
I wanted nothing more than to take them back home.
To have them and me on a plane back to Alabama.
I would have done it too.

And, in another memory, taking a car full of girls back to their home, windows rolled down, Alabama shakers being held out the windows, and them singing loudly along with the radio, when we get to their house, they ask for the shakers.
 All the Alabama shakers that I had collected from so many football games got carried away.
I didn't think twice.

After serving in Mobile this past summer, my heart and passion for inner-city and the "least of these" grew even stronger.
So, where to go now? This summer that seems so distant but very close at the same time.
Where will I go to serve this year? Where will God lead me to build new relationships?
Who will it involve?

I don't know for sure. But, I am confident that He will send me where He wants me.
And I know that wherever He sends me, I will be taught and blessed by the people that I serve.
I can only pray that I will be as much of a blessing to them as well.

So, I have decided again to link up with NAMB. In the hope that somewhere on that long PDF file, there is a place for me. A place that God has for me.
Not knowing can be saddening and frustrating at times, but I trust that it is all taken care of.
I'm learning to have patience and to wait for God.
For He knows the best time for everything.
Learning patience is never easy and is tested every day. And every day I fail. I can see signs of hope, but I still fail.
Praise Him for loving us so much that even in these failures, He still loves us and wants to use us.

Patience is coming.
Faith is growing.
Doubt is fading.

"For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay."
Habakkuk 2:3

Just Something Quick

So, it is the second day of the New Year, 2011.

And beginning yesterday, I started thinking about my summer and what I wanted to do.

Where does God want me and what does He want me to do.

So, I ventured over to NAMB and started looking at mission opportunities for the summer...

And ended up finding one that sounds amazing.

(But, more on that later.)

Then, I found a verse that deals mainly with waiting, or patience.

"For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end -- it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay." -- Habakkuk 2:3

I just think it is funny that beginning on the first day of the New Year, God started talking to me about patience.

Ha. Something I truly don't have a lot of.

So, here is to the New Year and the learning and practicing of patience.

:-)

The Path We Choose

Do we choose the path or does the path choose us?

Regardless of which it is, do you follow the path or the Path.

See, the difference right there is the capitalized "P" in the second path.

The path that I choose is the right Path.

The Path of Truth.

Jesus.

It may be weird to refer to Jesus as a path, but He is the Way. He is the Right and only True Way.

"Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'"

John 14:6

Jesus is the path laid out in front of us and we either accept it or keep walking without noticing. But, no matter which way we choose, He is there. He will never leave and will always be there.

He is here. He is here in this moment with you, drawing you to Him.

He is pursuing you!

The Creator of ALL life and of the earth. The One who controls it all. HE is pursuing YOU.

He wants to have a relationship with you more than anything else in the entire world.

He could have anything, but that is what He desires.

For you to know Him and to dwell in His glory.

For you to work with Him in all things so that He could work all things out for your good!

For, we have that promise as children of God!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28

He is pursuing you.

Accept Him.

Follow the Path of Righteousness.

Follow the Path of Truth.

Follow the Way.

Take part in the eternal Life that we have through Him.

Jesus is the Way. He is very much alive. He is very much calling You to a relationship with Him.
A relationship of Love that is more than we can imagine. A Love that never fails.

A Love that never changes.

A Love that surpasses all love.

A Love that died on a cross for you.

A Love that is so powerful, death couldn't hold it.

A Love that rose from the grave.

A Love that is living right now.

A Love that will come again.

A Love that holds us in His hands and will never drop us.

A Love so indescribable, that all we can do is believe and trust in it.

A Love unlike any other.

Believe and trust in the Path of Love!

The roads will still be hard, but at the end isn't a dead end.

It's only the beginning!

Believe and trust in the Path of Love!

For there is a Savior who is waiting for your embrace.

A Savior who knows it all, but loves you anyways.

A Savior who wants you to reign with Him for eternity.

A Savior who wants good for you.

There is a Savior who is the Path of Unfailing, Never Ending, Powerful, Love.

And that Path, is choosing you!

Patiently Waiting

"I am sure
God keeps no one waiting
unless He sees
that it is good
for him to wait."
-- C.S. Lewis

Did you catch that? Unless it is good for him to wait. That him, is a general us. God wouldn't keep us waiting unless it is good for us to wait.

Good for us to wait? Ha. God has a sense of humor doesn't He? If anyone knows about my lack of patience, it is God. He knows my every thought, my every move of every day. He created me.

"O Lord, You have searched me and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O Lord...For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
-- Psalm 139:1-4,13-14

However, the Word also says that God will not grant me,or put me through, anything that I could not handle.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what You can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
-- 1 Corinthians 10:13

Yet, patience seems like such a trivial accomplishment compared to some other things. However, finally achieving patience can bring peace to many other situations. When you rest in the peace of Christ, you rest in His will. He is Peace!

Mainly, what I am wanting to say is that if God has us in a waiting period, we can only imagine what the outcome of that period will be.

A period of waiting to graduate college or even choosing a major. God can reveal to you where He wants you to be. And once He leads you to that decision, that path will allow you to train and equip yourself to serve and glorify Him.

It's the same with a time of singleness. Oh, what the Lord can reveal to you in a time of singleness. You can learn so much about yourself and fall deeper into a relationship with the true Lover of your soul! You can set standards for yourself, not be cheated out of what you truly deserve, and spend more time serving and glorifying the Lord!

And when you do enter into a dating relationship, you can both strengthen each other into a deeper relationship with your Creator. The Creator who should and wants to be the center of your relationship. You can encourage one another and serve and glorify the Lord together. 

And when you get married, you get to represent our Groom marrying His Bride, the Church. 

Then, when you have kids, you can dedicate them to the Lord and introduce them to their Creator and show them His glorious. In the hope and prayer that one day, they will accept Him as their Lord and answer the call to serve and glorify the Lord.

It is such a complex state of mind. Waiting. But out of the waiting can come so much good and revelations. Every day of our life, the Lord is pursuing us. To draw us closer to Him, closer to the eternal life that He says is ours if we trust and believe in Him.

Waiting seems like such a hard thing, one that takes patience. But we have to see waiting as a good thing. A time of service to the Lord. When we focus on it as an honor to serve the Lord God Almighty, we will no longer see it as a burden or as a curse. During our wait we learn so much and God may grant us the desires we long for. But we have to remember that we need to trust Him and commit all we have to Him.

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust Him and He will do this...Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him..." -- Psalm 37:3-5,7

Patience and waiting.

They can be good things.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for the good, for those who are called according to His purpose." -- Romans 8:28

He Does Hear and Respond

Psalm 142 and 143 give us examples of what the Lord does in response to us when we reach out to Him. This provides me with peace and comfort and I hope it does to You as well.

What we do or need to do:

•We cry aloud and lift up our voices - Psalm 142:1

•We pour out our complaints and tell of our troubles - Psalm 142:2

•We cry and proclaim that The Lord is our refuge - Psalm 142:5

•We remember, meditate, and consider all that He has done - Psalm 143:5

•We spread out our hands as our souls thirst for Him -Psalm 143:6

•We put our trust in Him and lift our souls up to the Lord - Psalm 143:8

•We hide ourselves in Him - Psalm 143:9

What the Lord does in response:

•He listens to our cries and rescues us - Psalm 142:6

•He sets us free - Psalm 142:7

•He hears our prayers and listens to our cries - Psalm 143:1

•He answers us and doesn't hide His face from us - Psalm 143:7

•He shows us the way - Psalm 143:8

•He rescues us - Psalm 143:9

•He teaches and leads us - Psalm 143:10

For every time we turn to the Lord, He reaches out and responds. He will never leave us in any place alone. We are His children and He is pursuing us. He pursues us no matter where we are in life because He wants nothing more and desires nothing more than a relationship, intimate and pure, with us. And you know what, He deserves nothing less.

Who doesn't want to be pursued and loved? We have a desire that can only be satisfied by Christ Himself. He is our Groom and we are His Bride. As filthy and undeserving as we are, He still desires us. His love is so deep and wide that we cannot fathom. We will never fully be able to understand a desire or love like that. We aren't supposed to, instead we are called to trust in it.

His arms are open. All we need to do is fall into them.

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." -- Ephesians 3:17-19

My Wish Right Now

I have no desire right now to do school. None at all.

I don't want to go to class. 

I don't want to read. 

I don't want to study. 

I don't want to take tests. 

I don't want to write papers or take notes.

None of it.

My desire right now is to hop on a plane and fly.

Fly to some place that I've never been before.

And stay there for awhile.

I want to get away from school for awhile.

But, I can't right now. 

I have to stay here for now and be a good student.

Because right now, this is where God wants me.

And I have to go through classes everyday knowing that it is all for His glory.

This is where He wants me right now and 

I have to rest in that.