How Can I? I Can't.

"Waiting does not mean sitting and soaking, but faithfully serving until God gives a new direction."

This is a quote that I have on a bright, lime green index card tacked on my bulletin board behind my desk. 

I heard it at church one night from my college minister. 

I do not remember all that we talked about that night, but this obviously stuck with me and I wrote it down.

As a daily reminder.

That whatever next step God has in my life,

should just be a continuation of my life now.

A continuation of me serving him.

Faithfully.

There are always things that I want right now that God decided to either give me or to not.

But, as I wait for those things, I should not just be sitting around.

Because if I just sat around and waited, I may be there for a long time.

God works on His own timing, not mine.

Waiting for a new direction could be only minutes away or years away.

I do not want to waste that time. 

Also, as I continue to learn and grow in Christ, I should not hold that in just for me.

During my waiting time, I should not only soak up everything the Lord is showing me, 

but reach out to others. 

And show them also what the Lord is doing for me. 

In the hope and prayer that they will feel and see Christ as well.

My prayer for awhile now has been that people will not see me.

That they will not see me for who I am on the outside by the clothes that I wear or the car I drive or the material possessions that I have.

But, I pray that people will see Christ. 

That when they look at me they will see something different and wonder what it is.

I pray that they will be drawn to me, not because of me, but because of Christ.

Because He is everything about me. 

Without Him, I would not be who I am. 

My identity is now found in Chirst. 

My old self is dead and gone. 

Lost completely in Christ.

That is what I strive for.

That is what I pray for.

That is what I want others to see.

But, dear friends.

I fail.

There are days that I do not die to myself.

There are days that I do not take up my cross and follow Christ fully.

There are days when my tongue gets the best of me and I say things that I should not.

There are days when I think things I should not.

There are days when I do things I should not. 

There are days where I completely forget who Christ is and

days where I never let Him into my day.

There are days when I am selfish,

conceited,

stupid, 

arrogant, 

controlling,

and 

mean. 

Because I am human. 

And my flesh constantly battles the Spirit inside of me. 

But, dear friends, I do have a weapon. 

I have the weapon that is sharper than anything and that can completely turn your life upside down.

I have Christ.

Christ is in me.

He is so powerful and mighty that sin can not touch Him.

His Spirit is in me.

And because of that, I have the power to overcome sin.

I have the power to strive and be like Christ.

To be sinless.

But friends.

Me declaring this on my blog does not make me a better Christian. 

It does not save me or count as a good work. 

Yes, this is a part of my life and an area where I am declaring to believe and trust in Christ.

But, if I am not doing this in my daily life, 

on my campus and in my classes.

What am I doing?

Who is going to know?

How are they going to know if I do not tell them?

There have been so many days that I have wasted. 

Days that I have thrown away and shoved them back in His face.

All because I did not feel like doing it that day.

I say that I so badly want people to know the Christ that I do.

To have the love of a Father that is greater than gold or anything else in this world.

But, if I just sit there silent.

How are they going to know?

How will they experience this?
How will they know Him?

I am here for a reason.

To proclaim Him to everyone that I meet. 

To extend His kingdom.

To glorify Him.

And if I just sit by and go about my daily life, they will not know.

My day is not about me, but about Him.

The day is His given to me as a gift to glorify and serve Him.

To faithfully serve until God calls me somewhere else.

How can I be silent?

I can't.